Whenever this world is cruel to me I got you to help me forgive.

Song of the day: Queen – You’re My Best Friend

I heard a lot of Queen over this weekend and I sometimes forget after not listening to them in a long time how much I enjoy their songs. I think everyone can find at least one Queen song that they love or at least enjoy.

Today’s Thoughts: 

We had a very busy weekend. Friday I went to Leicester New Walk Museum with my step mum Denise and my brother Alex it is only a small free museum but they have some interesting stuff. I definitely enjoyed spending time with my family as I don’t get to go out often with them any more. I then had the dentist when I got back which wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be but was still made me feel a little anxious so I spent the rest of the evening relaxing and playing The Sims 4.

On the Saturday it was all go. We had decided to go visit Stu’s cousins, aunt and uncle. Who live in Reading. This was for two reasons the first it being his cousins 30th birthday and second because we bought a new car from his other cousin. Saturday morning I packed whilst Stu sorted the various forms, insurance etc. out for the car and then we travelled up with Stu’s parents. They had a little garden party with a barbecue just with family which was lovely and the weather was great. We stopped round for the night. I never sleep well around other peoples houses unfortunately and this night was no exception.

Sunday I was so tired. We travelled back in the new car which was very exciting. it was also very hot. Having a car with a working radio makes all the difference though! When we got home I felt like a zombie. Stu is aware that I can sometimes get overwhelmed when I spend some time with a large group of people and even told me that I didn’t have to speak to him for a couple of hours when we got back if it made me feel better. I really appreciated that. I hope I can get better at dealing with social events after they are done because I hate the fact that I don’t feel like talking to anyone afterwards.

Yesterday I felt so overwhelmed I basically had one of the worst anxiety days I have had in a long time. For some reason my mind was racing all day I was scared to go outside and I had three panic attacks for little reasons like struggling to change the sheets. It felt hopeless but tried to fight the depression. I can deal with my anxiety but once my depression seeps in it can set me off for a couple of days and that’s when I can start disassociating which is never fun. At least I noticed that my brain wasn’t at it healthiest and tried to concentrate on tasks like tidying and needle felting that would make me feel better. I feel a little guilty today as I feel I could have spent some of that wasted time being more productive but if I really think about it I needed to give my mind the rest that I needed to be better today.

Thankfully I do feel better today and I am hoping to get so much more done today.

What Can Make Tomorrow Better: 

• Get some stuff uploaded on to Ebay so I can shift it out the way.
• Don’t procrastinate too much.
• Go for a walk outside so you don’t turn the world into a big scary monster.

Today’s Positive Photo: 

A picture from the weekend – I decided the dark would be the best time to take pictures 😛