August.

Wow I can’t believe it is September already – and that I am already late in posting this!!

I thought I would start doing these little blogs summarising my month, so I can look back on my ups and downs. 😛

Weekend away to Reading;  

Early on this month we went up to Reading to see Stu’s cousins and grab our new car who is now lovingly named ‘Lemonade’. We had a lovely little garden party that I have already written about here, so I wont talk too much about it. It was just lovely to get away and although I felt overwhelmed after I had a nice time in the sun with a very rum heavy drink!

Video games; 

As it usually is, the main game I played this month was the The Sims 4. I really can’t help it, I am addicted! Controlling little make believe people is obviously just too much fun. I got myself the seasons expansion pack early on in the month so it was fun to add a bit more realism to my sims lives.

I also played a lot of and completed episode one of Orwell, it is free at the moment and I enjoyed snooping around different peoples lives to try and figure out who was the terrorist attacker – I wont spoil it for anyone but I would highly recommend playing it.

Other games I have been playing with Stu this month have been completing The Way Out – wow just wow, Prison Architect (that game is so complicated so I let Stu play whilst I watch) and Observer_. We haven’t completed Observer yet but it is super scary in places and I am enjoying watch Stu play it whilst hiding behind cushions.

TV Shows and Films: 

TV Shows wise I didn’t watch many this month because instead I spent way too much wasted time on Youtube but the things I did watch I really got hooked in to the first being Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist – which was very intriguing and had so many twists and turns its hard to believe it was real life! The next thing I really got hooked into was Dark Tourist (although I did have to skip through some of the moments with excessive animal harm because although I know its important to know some rituals and sacrifices exist I just couldn’t deal with watching them) Some of the people and places involved in that TV show were unbelievable!

I watched three films last month all of them classics – Death Becomes Her which is still just as funny as the first time I watched it, The Dark Knight which has always been one of my favourites and one film I hadn’t seen before but knew I had to watch; Taxi Driver, which I really enjoyed it took me a while to get used to the ending though but when I finally understood it I think it really worked, if you haven’t watched it I would definitely recommend it.

Trip to Leicester Museum;

Very early on in the month me, my step mum (Denise) and my younger brother (Alex) went to the free Leicester Museum. It is only small but they have little sections for different eras and art styles. At the time they had an exhibition on Star Wars memorabilia upstairs. I am not the biggest fan of Star Wars but it was interesting to see all the different little things they had made to celebrate the franchise through the years. It was also nice as I don’t get to go out that often not with money being so tight. 😛

 

Blue Hair;  

This month I went back to the hairdressers to get my blue hair refreshed. I have to be honest blue hair dye has been a real pain it just seems to run a lot more then any other colour but I just really love having it this way. This time instead of having it all a deep blue we decided to do it lighter in the fringe and darker at the back. Its not something incredibly noticeable but I can tell.

Bird By Bird – Instructions on Writing and Life;

After finishing the book Columbine, I started to read Bird By Bird, I finished just before August finished and I have to say I really enjoyed it. Anne Lamott has quite a dark sense of humour and some really good tips on writing. I wouldn’t say this book is instructional in anyway but it does focus on the key points of writing that I found really helpful. My only criticism of this book that she mentions god just a bit too much for me as an atheist but its not enough to become annoying or unreadable and I respect that she has different beliefs that may have helped her through life.

Food, glorious food; 

Last month I was addicted to Crunchy Nut Oat Granola – I had it for almost every breakfast – it is so nice! I usually had it with just some milk but sometimes I put some fruit on top of it or had berries on the side with it (can’t stand soggy berries on top of breakfast!) So yummy. For lunches I mainly made us a salad with salami on the weekdays and fresh tomatoes – Stu’s parents own an allotment so we had so much fresh tomatoes, berries and corn on the cobs – it was lovely. I had a cheese toastie last month which I hadn’t had in ages so that is worth celebrating. I also baked my own white chocolate chip and date cookies – For the first time of me trying it I feel like they were a bit too crumbly but I really enjoyed them overall.

Going outside; 

For us over here in the UK the weather in August was a bit of a mix bag of coming out of a very hot summer to raining quite a bit but I actually enjoyed going out in both types of weather. I decided last month that I should regularly go on more walks and I think I achieved that and I really enjoyed just going out on my own and exploring around into nowhere.

My Dads Birthday; 

It was my Dads birthday on the 30th so I went round to see him, it was only for a short period of time and I felt a little guilty because I wasn’t in the greatest mood in the middle of my depression but he had gone clay pigeon shooting and really enjoyed it so he had lots to tell me!! My dad loves the sweets Nerds so I got him a bunch of stuff related to that, I also made him some rum and raisin fudge and hand made him a PUBG themed card. He seemed happy with his gifts and it was nice to know he had been spoilt by the rest of the family as well.

Ebaying and starting an Etsy store; 

I spent plenty of time last month uploading endless listings to Ebay. It was frustrating and tedious at times but I am glad I have something to make some money off of  because otherwise I think I would really need to be working whatever job I could. Very recently I actually set up an Etsy store to start selling my Grandmas amazing quilts, I think she is so talented and I want to be able to share that with the world.

Depression, anxiety and lack of sleep; 

If there is anything that dominated over my August it is these three things. These past few weeks have been hard as I have felt like utter trash, a failure and every other name I can call myself rolled into one. Sometimes I let my overthinking and anxieties about life take my day to day over and when that happens in swoops depression to kick my butt.

How have I dealt with it? well to be honest better then I ever have before. Doing simple tasks this August has been a struggle so I have done just that – pushed myself to do the littlest things like make the bed, do the washing up or write a page of useless nonsense. I have not let the urge to just curl up in bed and cry take me over instead I have gotten up leaned over the sink instead and cried there. 😛

So that was my August I hope everyone had a good one!! Here’s hoping September can be better.