T.V.

Our T.V. gave out yesterday, it keeps doing this thing where it turns itself off and you have to unplug it for an hour and then plug it back in again because otherwise it just wont turn on. It has been doing it for about 2 weeks now and every time me and Stu say to each other, we are going to have to get a new one. Then yesterday it took longer then usual to fix and over the weekend I had a larger staff discount so we decided to buy new – it’s coming later today.

I cried. I cried over a fucking T.V. breaking, but it’s because Denise helped us get this one. From one of her many friends they were giving it away free as it was ‘too big’ and she helped us bring it home and everything. She got mad at us at first because we didn’t thank her friends properly. (To be fair she was right)

Every time we lose something that she has something to do with, even if it’s just an object it feels like a stab to the heart. It’s like we are moving on and she’s not here to see it. It is such a strange part of grief I never considered before.

RIP T.V, thanks for the 6 years.

Lets catch up… February

Today is the last catch up I need to do before I can get back to blogging day to day. I have actually really enjoyed looking back on the months and writing about them I just hope they have been good to read!

New Nintendo 2DS:

In February I got myself to a new 2DS XL as it was on sale on the official Nintendo store with three games for most of the month. I loved my 3DS but I had, had it so long that it was looking a bit worse for wear and bits were falling off it. I wasn’t fussed about getting a system that could still do 3D so with some encouragement from Stu I decided to treat myself. I normally feel quite guilty if I buy myself something a bit more expensive but I am not regretting my purchase one bit. One of the games I received with it was Brain Training and I have been really enjoying playing that and as it is backwards compatible with old DS games I was able to find my old theme park game and play that too. 🙂

Vanilla sponge:

Me and Stu decided we wanted to make clotted cream in February but 4 or 3 days before the whipped creams best buy date we decided that it was just too much hassle, so we instead whipped it up and used it in a sponge cake, and it was so delicious, normally when I bake I try and do more complicated recipes but it was really nice to go back to basics and make a simple sponge. I love baking with Stu, its something different to do together and I think it is really cute that he gets really proud of what we have made at the end. I would love to do more baking this year as I always find it fun, especially if the end result is as tasty as this was. i do still want to make clotted cream in the future – we just need to plan the timing out a bit better 😛

TV/Film:

In February I watched a lot more films then I would regularly. I finally got round to watching The Greatest Showman I borrowed the DVD off my friend Sally-Anne who adores it. I enjoyed it but I think I had seen too much hype about it before watching and it really didn’t live up to that. I also watched Split, I was very skeptical of this film as I watch Multiplicity and Me on YouTube and she believes it wrongly stereotypes people who have DID. I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt though but to be honest I just didn’t feel anything about it I was just kind of underwhelmed. The same day I watched Split I decided to watch Waynes World 2 I have seen this film loads of times but I love the cheesiness of Waynes World and its a great film to have on in the background whilst you get other stuff done. The last film I watched in February is The Three Amigos me and Stu watch this every Valentines day as it was the first film we ever watched together. I love buying popcorn and treats and watching this snuggled together – again it is a really cheesy film but it reminds me of Stu now and I love it.

The three main TV shows I watched in February were Afflicted, Banana Fish and Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids. Netflix kept recommending Afflicted to me so I decided that I would bite the bullet and I wasn’t disappointed, everyone in that series was so interesting! Banana Fish is a anime that me and my friend started watching purely because of the unusual name – we then got hooked, this show is really weird but really gripping. Lastly Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids is a TV series that I used to watch when I was a kid and was shocked to hear Stu didn’t. Based on a book series it’s a really unusually dark series for kids and Stu found it really amusing so we ended up watching quite a few. 😛

New light:

After looking for a long time we decided that we should finally get rid of the bare bulb we had hanging in the bedroom. We initially thought about getting a nice lampshade but when we went shopping to look Next had a really interesting light that really caught our eye. Stu did a furniture design course in University and one thing that has always interested him has been light fittings and shades. I initially thought it would be too bright for the bedroom (don’t get me wrong it is very bright) but we both really liked it so got ourselves one anyway. It was a pain to get it fixed and working but I love it now that it is up!

Gritting teeth and panic attacks:

My anxiety came back in full force last month. I have started a bad habit of gritting my teeth when I am stressed something I haven’t been doing since I was a kid. I do it when I am not aware of it and I will wake up with very bad headaches from doing it in my sleep. I am trying to become conscious of the fact I am doing it now and stopping myself but it is so hard! Another thing that I haven’t suffered with since last year is having panic attacks. Last month I had one so bad a colleague had to drive me home I felt so embarrassed but I couldn’t breath and there was no other way of me getting home. Thankfully since then I haven’t had another as bad but that was really tough going as I don’t want the anxiety to rule over my life again.

I hope you have enjoyed reading my little catch ups and that you had a good start to the year!!

Lets catch up… January

Following on from yesterday, today’s blog is about my January, January feels like so long ago now. I can’t believe how fast this year seems to be going already! Me and Stu didn’t really celebrate New year as I had work on New years day and to be honest we kind of always find it is nice to stay in and play video games to give comfort to Wheatley through all the fireworks so I don’t feel like I missed out too much 😛 Anyhow this is how the rest of my January went …

Video games and comic books:

My January was filled with new games to play and new comics to read. I had received some new comics from a series called ‘Giant Days’ at Christmas from Stu’s brother and his fiance, about three girls who attend University and become friends, they have very different personalities and styles to one another and the characters are well fleshed out and interesting. I find the comics really endearing and fun to read. Another comic I received at Christmas was one from a series I have been reading a little longer called ‘Lumberjanes’ about a group of girls who are in a camp together, the comics are really wacky and silly at times but that is what makes it fun to read!

As for video games Me and Stu played a lot of Raft through January and we really got back into playing Sea of Thieves together and we also got ourselves Parkitect and have been building little theme parks – which is really fun. I got myself Paper Mario on the 3DS and I really got into playing that, through Twitch prime I played Orwell: Ignorance is Strength – a game linked to the other surveillance type game I played last year. I also played through the whole of Pikuniku which was a really cute and funny game – I finished it in two days because I couldn’t stop playing. I also played some old Dead or Alive on the PlayStation 3 with my friend Megan – which was really funny because that game isn’t the best. I of course played a lot of Sims 4 as well – I am trying to see how long I can stick to one family and play them through the generations.

Zumba:

In December my friend from work mentioned that one of her friends runs a Zumba class and that we should go together in the new year. I agreed but I didn’t think I would go through with it – me in a room with so many other people working out and showing how bad I am at keeping steps? no thanks. So when January came around and Megan told me that she had booked the first lesson I was so anxious about it but not wanting to let Megan down and wanting to push myself into doing scary stuff I decided to just give it a try. Anyway it really wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be and I have been going ever since. I am really proud of myself for giving it a go and its really encouraged me to try different things – even if I am anxious.

TV Shows:

I watched quite a bit in January. I re-watched the first series of American Horror story as Stu had never seen it and I thought he would enjoy it ( I was right he did) we also started watching Hannibal as he had never seen that either and it is one of my favourite series – I was so sad when it was cancelled. I started to re-watch the whole of New Girl in January as well because it is very easy watching and I adore Zooey Deschanel. I watched through the whole of ‘You’ in a matter of days I really enjoyed it even if it was really unrealistic at times (like you wouldn’t notice he was outside your window with those giant windows!) I also tried to watch Maniac but I watched like 4 episodes and gave up because it just didn’t really grip me, the show was so confusing in tone at times and I just didn’t get it. I also watched through the whole of Instant Hotel – the people in that show were so funny – it was trash TV but I really enjoyed it!

Ikea and ice hockey:

Two things me and Stu promised each other for this year is that we would go on more dates and that we would invest in some new furniture for the flat. So I decided to treat us to go see the Coventry Blaze in January. I am not a big fan of sport but I always love going to see the Ice hockey as it is always a nice atmosphere and the game is really fun to watch. The Coventry hockey rink is right next to a Ikea so it was ideal for us to go there before the match started and come up with some ideas on how we wanted the flat to look – we only ended up buying some lampshades in the end but we came out with loads of ideas that we put into motion in February. I now have a new desk and we have a new TV stand, we also plan to buy more stuff in the future, which is really exciting!

Goodbye Cami:

Unfortunately my parents Staffordshire bull terrier had to be put down in January, it was so hard for all of us as me and my brother had both grown up with her and with my step mum being so ill it was a kick in the teeth that she would have to go. She was such a loving dog but she was getting really old and her legs were giving up on her. She had a long and happy life and that’s all that matters in the end. ❤

October.

October has been filled with plenty of ups but a lot of downs that have hit me really hard. At times it has been hard to handle my conflicting feelings and I feel like the stress of it has taken it out on me. Thankfully I have had plenty of nice things happen as well and I think it has helped that I have had plenty of adventures to think about.

Visiting HollyRobiin:

One of this months biggest adventures was definitely getting on the train to visit Holly. I am glad I did it because I had an amazing time seeing my old friend and I enjoyed being away from the flat and just relaxing. I wrote about this little adventure Holly here and in my Blogtober post. 

Cross Stitch: 

This month I finally finished my Gravity falls cross stitch I started last month. I am really proud of it and I am hoping to get it a frame that I can hang probably above my desk. I was actually proud of how neat the back was as well, which is important in the cross stitch world. I am planning my next cross stitch as we speak but I have been too busy to really start it.

Blogtober:

A big part of my October month was doing Blogtober, thanks again to Hunida for suggesting I try it this year. I have enjoyed every moment of it and writing about things that I wouldn’t normally write about has been really fun and challenging at times. I know I didn’t keep on top of it every day like I wanted but I am glad I did catch up when I needed to! Hope you enjoyed reading it too.

TV Shows:

I have really enjoyed watching my TV stuffs this month because it has been a very nice escape from my very busy brain. I have been very happy as Crazy Ex Girlfriend has returned – I watch it as it comes on on a Saturday and it hasn’t disappointed me yet! I f you haven’t watched this series I heavily suggest you give it a try as it is so funny and rather heartwarming at times.

I watched the whole series of Trust on BBC iplayer at the start of the month whilst finishing my cross stitch and it was so so good! Inspired by the Getty kidnapping from 1973. This drama was truly unbelievable. The acting was brilliant and it was directed perfectly. A unbelievable story told in a very interesting way.

I have also been watching the TV series of The Purge, I am not certain if I love it or not. Its not bad to put in the background but some of it is very over-dramatic and the acting can be pretty corny at times. I am mainly watching now because I am invested in the characters but I am not a massive fan. Maybe it will get better as it goes on?

Me and Stu have mainly been watching Task Master with dinner. James Acaster is one of our favourite comedians so this series has been really, really good.

My biggest guilty pleasure this month has been the new series of The Apprentice. I love hate watching this series as it is really cringy at times and some of the tasks they are set can be really ridiculous but I just can’t look away, I am hooked!

The last thing I have to mention is the live Halloween episode of Inside No 9. I have previously watched all series of Inside No 9 so I was very excited for the Halloween episode and it really delivered. No spoilers but; It was so good!!

Green Mile:

This month I have been reading Green Mile by Stephen King. I wanted to read something by a horror writer as it was October and I have been wanting to read this for so long!! So this was perfect. In all honesty I haven’t had the best mind for reading this month so I haven’t read a great deal of it but I am hoping to have a day of reading soon so I can really try to get through it. I am really enjoying it so far though. 🙂

New Candle:

Stu treated my to a new WoodWick candle recently. I really wanted one since Holly shown me at her house. Autumn Apple Basket is so nice! It also crackles like a fire which is really comforting. The only downfall with it is that I can’t have it on all the time! 😛

New Job:

After having a rough time filling in stupid amounts of applications. Going to interviews and receiving rejections (and sometimes not even getting any answers) I finally got a job offer. I am really happy and excited for it to start and for me and Stu to be able to treat ourselves and family members more! 😀

I feel like this October post has been shorter than some of the previous month posts. Even so I feel like this month has been very eventful hopefully November will resolve some of the bad things happening in my life.

I hope everyone’s October was good! Thanks for reading 😀

 

My Favourite Horror/Thriller Baddies

Today I thought I would stick to the horror theme and list my all time favourite baddies from horror/thriller movies, TV, anime and books.

The Doctor, Van Hellsing.

The doctor, features in the Hellsing anime and manga also known as Dok, this mad scientist is responsible in creating and training artificial vampires to help raise an army. Unfortunately these vampires are all Nazis, making Dok very much a villian. Dok is eccentric, unstable and very weirdly dressed but who doesn’t love a bit of mad scientist every now and then?

Dracula, Dracula – Bram Stoker.

Dracula is what you call the classic baddie and Bram Stokers original iteration of him is definitely the most terrifying. Dracula is one of my favourite all time villains because he is just so damn creepy, I mean who really wants to be stalked by a ugly vampire? He is also one of my favourites because there are so many iterations of him – I will never get sick of seeing this original baddie!

Tate Langdon, American Horror Story – Murder House.

Tate Langdon is the worst. a ghost, a school shooter and the way he treats Violet and her family is horrific but Evan Peters some how makes him a tiny bit likable and very charming. Making Tate a very confusing but very good character.

Negan, The Walking Dead.

As I have only read the first compendium of the walking Dead comics in this blog post I will be referring to Negan from the TV show. This guy is just someone who you can so easily love to hate. He is cocky, sadistic and very sure of himself and that is what makes him great, unfortunately the last season of The Walking Dead wasn’t amazing – but I can still appreciate the performance by Jefferey Dean Morgan.

The Demogorgon, Stranger Things.

What can I say, it’s a Demogorgon and it’s really cool and it has a disgusting head. Great baddie. 10 out of 10.

Samara Morgan, The Ring.

Samara is one of my favourite baddies of all time because The Ring had such an impact on mine and my best friends lives when we were a lot younger. She was terrified of Samara and now that I look back on her I can see why, I don’t think I would like anything crawling out of my TV especially not Samara – didn’t mean I couldn’t poke fun at her though!

Freaky Fred, Courage the Cowardly Dog. 

If you grew up watching Courage the Cowardly dog much like I did so many villains from that show were memorable but for me Freaky Fred and his little rhyme was definitely an episode that really stuck with me. His big creepy smile, the way he talks about hair, the fact he shaves Courage, the music in the background – its all very creepy – making it one of my favourite episodes.

Dandy Mott, American Horror Story – Freak Show.

Dandy Mott is a spoilt brat, he is pompous and he throws plenty of tantrums. Dandy Mott is completley insane but damn that makes him one of the most intriguing characters to watch. Finn Wittrock really nails this character and I think he is the best character of the Freak Show series. A true psycho.

Hannibal Lector, Hannibal.

In all honesty I have never seen Silence Of The Lambs (although it is in my to watch list) nor have I read the book, but the character of Hannibal is brilliantly portrayed by Mads Mikkelsen in the TV series. The character grips you and draws you in with his intelligence and soft spoken creepiness and the way he prepares food makes it almost good enough to eat (if only it wasn’t humans). Hannibal is an intriguing character that I loved watching.

Patrick Bateman, American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis

Purely based on the book Patrick Bateman is one of the worst villains on this list – a serial killer business man. Patrick is exactly what the book says he is – a psycho. The book being in first person makes it extremely uncomfortable to read but something I would definitely recommend. Patrick is evil and for that it makes him one of my favourite thriller baddies.

Thanks for reading 🙂

Let me know some of your favourites in the comments below!

3 Creepy Anime’s To Watch.

In contrast to the last blog post I wanted to write a more Halloween themed blog. So here are 3 anime’s that are perfect for the autumn season.

Mononoke

I watched this anime ages ago and I remember it being rather creepy. Based in the Edo period of Japan, Mononoke follows a nameless medicine seller (the lowest of the classes, samurai being the highest in this period of Japan) who fights ‘Mononoke’ – spirits that linger in the human world by linking themselves to negative emotions of living humans. This anime is beautiful yet haunting, the plot can sometimes be difficult to follow but I would definitely recommend it for anyone looking for a new series to watch.

Attack On Titan 

Probably the most popular on the list, I have yet to watch the rest of this anime (I am still on series 1!!) but every time I do watch I am always taken aback by how creepy the titans are. Attack on Titan is based in a world were cities are surrounded by walls protecting their inhabitants the walls are set in circles the outer walls the poorest families and the inner the rich. The walls protect them from Titans giant humanoid monsters that eat people. It’s actually terrifying at times and also sometimes really sad but it’s one to watch.

Hellsing: Ultimate 

Hellsing is one of my all time favourite anime’s/manga’s. Set in England it follows vampire Alucard and his ward Seras try to protect the country from war crazed Nazis who have an army of vampires. This anime series just does vampires right and is really fun to watch.

Thanks for reading! 🙂

 

My Top 3 Scary TV Shows.

Today I wanted to share with you my top 3 scary TV shows that you can watch over Halloween. 🙂

American Horror Story

American Horror story consists of a different mini-series every season focusing on different characters, stories and settings all to do with horror. It takes many influences from horror films and other scary TV and makes it it’s own. Series one in my favourite of them all and focuses on a family who move in to a very strange and haunted house. The ongoing cast of AHS is amazing and there has only been one series I have been disappointed with ‘Cult’ so I would definitely recommend watching.

Bates Motel 

I talked about this a bit in my September blog because I only recently just watched Bates Motel but I loved every minute of it. This series is based on the book Psycho by Robert Bloch. The characters and story are gripping and I would highly suggest watching for the acting alone.

Black Mirror 

Black Mirror is a new story every episode, with a different cast, story and setting. They mainly focus on the modern world and the consequences of new technology. Written by Charlie Brooker, Black Mirror features some dark humour as well as some very scary themes (however not always). Some episodes are hit or miss but most of them are brilliantly written and beautifully executed.

 

Thanks for reading!! 🙂

Let me know any other great scary TV Shows to watch in the comments below.

The Top Things For a Cosy Night In.

As I outlined in Things I Love About Autumn my favourite thing about this season is how cosy it is. So for today’s Blogtober post I thought I would outline my top things to make a good cosy night in.

A Cold and Rainy Evening. 

First ingredient for my cosy night in would be a rainy evening, the kind of heavy rain that makes a lovely sound against the window because that is just wonderful to listen to, no thunder though please 😛 .  It also needs to be just the right temperature to force you to seek out all your comfiest things.

A Good Film/TV Show or Book.

The next thing that you need is a good film/TV show, or if you really want to listen to that rain; a good book to get lost in. Something so that you can switch off that active mind and ‘zombie’ for a bit. I recommend for October season a good thriller, documentary or horror film – I would only watch the last one with Stu though because who else am I going to hide behind?

A Bath/Shower.

One of the things I really miss having is a bath, we only have a shower unit but nothing beats a good soak in the bath and that feeling of being completely relaxed when you get out after. But we are stuck with our shower so that will do too! Just make sure that all your fluffiest and biggest towels are ready for when you jump out!

Comfort Food. 

This just explains it self really, my comfort meal at the moment is stew but I also think any good snacks like popcorn (whilst you watch the TV) or chocolate is also essential for that cosy night.

Comfy Clothes/ Pyjamas.

Nothing quite beats a nice set of slouchy clothes or pajamas that smell of home, that fit perfectly and that you know you will just be completely relaxed in. I actually have more sets of pajamas then I do everyday clothes so that tells you how much I love being in comfort. 😛

A Hot Drink.

I explained this before but as soon as Autumn properly hits I drink a lot more hot drinks. My favourite choice for a cosy night in has got to be a big mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows (sometimes cream) though as it just feels so warming. When we went on holiday to Prague a couple of years back on holiday they had street vendors selling hot chocolate and hot wine and it often reminds me of that now.

A Comfy Blanket.

Finally I think every cosy night needs a good blanket to keep all the warmth in and fight that cold weather that is happening outside! Plus it makes as a good shield for cringey moments on TV.

 

September.

September feels like it has been a weird one for me. Certain decisions and ideas have popped up in life that I have had to make. So certain things that I want to give more attention to generally such as blogging have taken the back burner a bit. but I am here now! so lets do a September run down! 🙂

Cross Stitching:

I have done tons of cross stitching this past month. I made a lovely cross stitch of some roses for Stu’s grandmas birthday present which we put in a little frame for her. I was really happy with it. We just recently got a printer so I have also been searching for patterns and as I mentioned in a previous Post I have been following a pattern made by Cross Stitch Quest. I love stitching because it is so relaxing and I think it has really helped with this months anxieties.

 

TV Shows: 

I watched loads of great TV series whilst cross stitching. The first I completed was Bates Motel. At first I was worried that it would be terrible as I remember how bad the lead actor – Freddie Highmore was in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (That didn’t stop it from being one of my favourite films when I was younger) but it turned out to be fantastic. The acting was brilliant, the setting fantastic and the story great. Norman was creepy but not to a point it wasn’t believable and at points you do feel sorry for him. I loved every moment of this show and I was very sad when it ended 😛 I am hoping to watch psycho soon and I would also love to read the book now as well.

I also completed watching American Horror Story Cult which I had very mixed feelings about. I have loved pretty much every season of AHS but this one to me seemed to be very um try hard? I know AHS is very over the top by nature and I really liked the premise for this season but I don’t know through out watching I couldn’t help but cringe at certain moments and sometimes the story just didn’t add up. Like I said I loved the premise and the characters all in all were very well fleshed out but I just don’t feel it was up to standard with some of the greatest series of AHS. To be fair though I might just be hating because it starred Lena Dunham and I can’t stand her.

The third thing I completed watching is the second series of American Vandal – this is a mockumentry show that makes fun of the normal documentary you would usually get on Netflix. It is hilarious – very childish at times but hilarious and so well executed. I don’t really want to spoil anything here so that is all I am going to say.

Other then that me and Stu have been obsessed with watching old Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares UK and Jelle’s Marble runs on YouTube. Oh also RT Gaming streams on Twitch, hes such an upbeat and funny person.

Visiting Stu’s Grandmas:

This September was Grandma Brown’s birthday so we went up towards Yorkshire to see her and Grandma Mayhew. Other members including Stu’s auntie and cousins were there as well so we had a little party at her house on the Saturday. Grandma Brown is very into crafting so I had plenty to talk to her about. I can’t help but feel a little anxious about family meet ups but as the evening went on I did find myself relaxing more.

On the Sunday we went to see Grandma Mayhew, she is very old now so she stays at home a lot of the time and has to have carers visit her regularly unfortunately her mind is not very good and she forgets things very easily. I know this was going to be a hard visit for Stu but she was actually a lot better then I first expected and although she would get confused easily by different things she seemed in good spirits and to be cracking jokes so that was nice to see. Below is a cute picture of Stu and his Grandma Brown.

Comfort Food:

This month has been all about comfort food. Near the start of the month we made a massive pot of stew – the recipe I got from my step mum and is one of my favourites growing up – it has been the perfect meal to warm us up in the colder evenings. As we made a big pot as well we still have one portion left for this week!  For breakfast in September I have been mainly having porridge with banana and honey again this is a lovely warming comfort food.  I have also been loving Ice gems – We had a big bumper pack of them so they have been a great daily snack.

Video Games:

I haven’t actually been playing a lot of different video games on my own this month. Of course I have still been playing The Sims 4 but that is it really it. I have been playing plenty of games with Stu though such as the very relaxing Stardew Valley – what is so great about owning your own little farm together? I don’t know but I love it. Two player A Hat In Time a 3D platformer with some great levels and characters – we have had some problems with this crashing but I have enjoyed what we have played. We have also picked Sea of Thieves back up and we are really enjoying playing pirates and fighting skeletons.

Mindfulness Plain and Simple: 

I haven’t completely finished this book yet but I have been enjoying learning a bit more in-depth about Mindfulness. This book by Oli Doyle I picked up for cheap from The Works has been sitting on my shelf for a while and I just kept putting it off because to be honest I didn’t have many expectations for it. I have really enjoyed it so far and it has plenty of mindfulness exercises included inside to practise. The book focuses on how living in the now and not thinking too much about the future or getting lost in the past is good for us and I have really been trying to put more of these exercises into my life as I know I am very easily lost in thoughts. My problems with this book is that sometimes it does have moments where I want to roll my eyes – but I think this is down to the practise rather then the author and it can be a bit repetitive. But so far it has been very interesting and something I do want to apply to my life.

Walks Outside:

Much like last month I have took loads of walks across the park nearby my flat this September and I have loved doing it even though sometimes it has rained on me!! It has become more of a regular thing for me to do and I do think it improves my mind to get out of the flat even if I am not doing anything and even if I am not walking by the most beautiful sights!

Alexa:

Stu got a new phone and they gave him a free Amazon Echo Dot. We were both funny about keeping it because we were kinda worried about it listening to us at all times but to be honest we both love it now. Its great! Especially when I want to listen to music whilst say washing up so I don’t have to manually skip a track. I have to admit Alexa is still a little creepy but I don’t mind her being round now 😛

Decisions:

Like I said at the start of this post I have had many decisions to make this month mostly to do with the future and the near future. I have decided that I will most probably start a college course next year. As that is my decision I think it is best I find myself a part time job to help out with the bills and make sure we have a little bit of extra money to spend on ourselves and on upcoming Christmas. This has been a hard decision for me as I assumed that when I left the Co-op I would have a more solid and secure idea that I would be putting into practise now and the thought of interviews make me very scared but I think it is for the best.

So that was my September, I hope everyone had a brilliant month!! Here’s hoping for a great October. 😀

 

August.

Wow I can’t believe it is September already – and that I am already late in posting this!!

I thought I would start doing these little blogs summarising my month, so I can look back on my ups and downs. 😛

Weekend away to Reading;  

Early on this month we went up to Reading to see Stu’s cousins and grab our new car who is now lovingly named ‘Lemonade’. We had a lovely little garden party that I have already written about here, so I wont talk too much about it. It was just lovely to get away and although I felt overwhelmed after I had a nice time in the sun with a very rum heavy drink!

Video games; 

As it usually is, the main game I played this month was the The Sims 4. I really can’t help it, I am addicted! Controlling little make believe people is obviously just too much fun. I got myself the seasons expansion pack early on in the month so it was fun to add a bit more realism to my sims lives.

I also played a lot of and completed episode one of Orwell, it is free at the moment and I enjoyed snooping around different peoples lives to try and figure out who was the terrorist attacker – I wont spoil it for anyone but I would highly recommend playing it.

Other games I have been playing with Stu this month have been completing The Way Out – wow just wow, Prison Architect (that game is so complicated so I let Stu play whilst I watch) and Observer_. We haven’t completed Observer yet but it is super scary in places and I am enjoying watch Stu play it whilst hiding behind cushions.

TV Shows and Films: 

TV Shows wise I didn’t watch many this month because instead I spent way too much wasted time on Youtube but the things I did watch I really got hooked in to the first being Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist – which was very intriguing and had so many twists and turns its hard to believe it was real life! The next thing I really got hooked into was Dark Tourist (although I did have to skip through some of the moments with excessive animal harm because although I know its important to know some rituals and sacrifices exist I just couldn’t deal with watching them) Some of the people and places involved in that TV show were unbelievable!

I watched three films last month all of them classics – Death Becomes Her which is still just as funny as the first time I watched it, The Dark Knight which has always been one of my favourites and one film I hadn’t seen before but knew I had to watch; Taxi Driver, which I really enjoyed it took me a while to get used to the ending though but when I finally understood it I think it really worked, if you haven’t watched it I would definitely recommend it.

Trip to Leicester Museum;

Very early on in the month me, my step mum (Denise) and my younger brother (Alex) went to the free Leicester Museum. It is only small but they have little sections for different eras and art styles. At the time they had an exhibition on Star Wars memorabilia upstairs. I am not the biggest fan of Star Wars but it was interesting to see all the different little things they had made to celebrate the franchise through the years. It was also nice as I don’t get to go out that often not with money being so tight. 😛

 

Blue Hair;  

This month I went back to the hairdressers to get my blue hair refreshed. I have to be honest blue hair dye has been a real pain it just seems to run a lot more then any other colour but I just really love having it this way. This time instead of having it all a deep blue we decided to do it lighter in the fringe and darker at the back. Its not something incredibly noticeable but I can tell.

Bird By Bird – Instructions on Writing and Life;

After finishing the book Columbine, I started to read Bird By Bird, I finished just before August finished and I have to say I really enjoyed it. Anne Lamott has quite a dark sense of humour and some really good tips on writing. I wouldn’t say this book is instructional in anyway but it does focus on the key points of writing that I found really helpful. My only criticism of this book that she mentions god just a bit too much for me as an atheist but its not enough to become annoying or unreadable and I respect that she has different beliefs that may have helped her through life.

Food, glorious food; 

Last month I was addicted to Crunchy Nut Oat Granola – I had it for almost every breakfast – it is so nice! I usually had it with just some milk but sometimes I put some fruit on top of it or had berries on the side with it (can’t stand soggy berries on top of breakfast!) So yummy. For lunches I mainly made us a salad with salami on the weekdays and fresh tomatoes – Stu’s parents own an allotment so we had so much fresh tomatoes, berries and corn on the cobs – it was lovely. I had a cheese toastie last month which I hadn’t had in ages so that is worth celebrating. I also baked my own white chocolate chip and date cookies – For the first time of me trying it I feel like they were a bit too crumbly but I really enjoyed them overall.

Going outside; 

For us over here in the UK the weather in August was a bit of a mix bag of coming out of a very hot summer to raining quite a bit but I actually enjoyed going out in both types of weather. I decided last month that I should regularly go on more walks and I think I achieved that and I really enjoyed just going out on my own and exploring around into nowhere.

My Dads Birthday; 

It was my Dads birthday on the 30th so I went round to see him, it was only for a short period of time and I felt a little guilty because I wasn’t in the greatest mood in the middle of my depression but he had gone clay pigeon shooting and really enjoyed it so he had lots to tell me!! My dad loves the sweets Nerds so I got him a bunch of stuff related to that, I also made him some rum and raisin fudge and hand made him a PUBG themed card. He seemed happy with his gifts and it was nice to know he had been spoilt by the rest of the family as well.

Ebaying and starting an Etsy store; 

I spent plenty of time last month uploading endless listings to Ebay. It was frustrating and tedious at times but I am glad I have something to make some money off of  because otherwise I think I would really need to be working whatever job I could. Very recently I actually set up an Etsy store to start selling my Grandmas amazing quilts, I think she is so talented and I want to be able to share that with the world.

Depression, anxiety and lack of sleep; 

If there is anything that dominated over my August it is these three things. These past few weeks have been hard as I have felt like utter trash, a failure and every other name I can call myself rolled into one. Sometimes I let my overthinking and anxieties about life take my day to day over and when that happens in swoops depression to kick my butt.

How have I dealt with it? well to be honest better then I ever have before. Doing simple tasks this August has been a struggle so I have done just that – pushed myself to do the littlest things like make the bed, do the washing up or write a page of useless nonsense. I have not let the urge to just curl up in bed and cry take me over instead I have gotten up leaned over the sink instead and cried there. 😛

So that was my August I hope everyone had a good one!! Here’s hoping September can be better.